[CLASSIFIED] Backyard Pool Incident: When Agent Jenkins Attempts Home Improvement

FROM: Barry R. TO: Mike P. SUBJECT: RE: Jenkins’ Backyard “Water Feature” Project DATE: February 25, 2025

Mike,

It’s happened again. Jenkins bought a house with a backyard and decided he needed a pool. Not just any pool – a “Pokémon-themed aquatic training facility.” Instead of hiring just any pool company, he specifically sought out these Toledo pool builders because, and I quote, “They understand the importance of proper habitat construction.”

He didn’t tell them he works for us. He told them he’s a “Pokémon researcher specializing in water types” and needed a pool designed for “optimal aquatic specimen observation.”

The owner personally came out for the consultation.

-Barry

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FROM: Mike P. TO: Barry R. SUBJECT: Re: RE: Jenkins’ Backyard “Water Feature” Project DATE: February 25, 2025

Barry,

I’ve reviewed the pool design proposal. Jenkins requested a “natural habitat replication” with specific lighting to “monitor nocturnal behaviors.” The pool has seven different depth zones and something called a “quantum filtration system” that Jenkins sketched himself.

The owner of Glass City Pools, Danny Phalen, wrote in his assessment: “In my 25 years with Toledo Pool Builders, I’ve never encountered such a scientifically rigorous approach to residential pool design. Mr. Jenkins’ specifications for water composition and electromagnetic field considerations are beyond typical residential requirements, but we’re excited to pioneer what he calls ‘the future of aquatic habitats.'”

Phalen has already shared Jenkins’ concepts with his design team, calling it “revolutionary thinking in residential water features.”

Should we intervene?

-Mike

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FROM: Barry R. TO: Mike P. SUBJECT: Re: Re: RE: Jenkins’ Backyard “Water Feature” Project DATE: February 25, 2025

Mike,

Too late. Jenkins invited Phalen to his home to “demonstrate the prototype.” Apparently, he’s converted his bathtub into what he calls a “miniature version” of the pool design, complete with modified electronics that are definitely pulled from our lab.

Phalen was impressed enough to bring his entire construction team for a demonstration. According to Jenkins’ excited call, Phalen said: “This level of water ionization and electromagnetic stabilization would revolutionize the pool industry. We at Glass City Pools have always pushed the boundaries of what Toledo pool builders can achieve, but this is beyond cutting-edge.”

The team took detailed notes and photographs, which Jenkins proudly reports will be featured in their next client presentation.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how classified was that bathtub setup?

-Barry

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FROM: Mike P. TO: Barry R. SUBJECT: Re: Re: Re: RE: Jenkins’ Backyard “Water Feature” Project DATE: February 25, 2025

Barry,

That bathtub contains components from the quantum stabilization prototype. So on a scale of 1 to 10, I’d rate it somewhere around “congressional hearing.”

It gets worse. Glass City Pools has added a new section to their website called “Innovative Habitat Solutions” featuring concepts “inspired by scientific research.” The diagrams are simplified versions of our quantum field generators.

Danny Phalen gave an interview to Home & Garden Magazine where he stated: “Working with specialists like Jenkins has opened our eyes to the future of pool design. At Glass City Pools, we’ve always led Toledo pool builders in innovation, but this collaboration pushes us into entirely new territory where pools become living ecosystems with advanced monitoring capabilities.”

The article describes how the “revolutionary designs incorporate subtle electromagnetic fields to enhance water purity and create optimal conditions for aquatic life” – which is basically our classified alien containment protocol reworded for residential use.

Jenkins has been invited to be a keynote speaker at the National Pool Builders Association conference. His topic? “Water-Type Habitats: Lessons from Pokémon Research for Modern Pool Design.”

-Mike

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FROM: Barry R. TO: Mike P. SUBJECT: Re: Re: Re: Re: RE: Jenkins’ Backyard “Water Feature” Project DATE: February 25, 2025

Mike,

Construction began today. I drove by to assess the situation. There are SEVEN trucks from Glass City Pools parked outside Jenkins’ house. Danny Phalen is personally supervising what he’s calling their “most scientifically advanced residential project to date.”

I managed to see the excavation. They’re installing a pool that’s shaped exactly like the containment chamber from Facility 7, complete with the specialized alcoves we use for specimen observation.

Jenkins gave Phalen a tour of his “research materials” – his Pokémon card collection – explaining how each water-type Pokémon requires specific “habitat conditions.” Phalen was taking detailed notes and comparing them to what appear to be scientific journals.

I overheard Phalen tell his team: “This is why I got into this business. Most Toledo pool builders just dig holes and fill them with water, but at Glass City Pools, we’re literally building the future of aquatic research right here in suburban Ohio.”

The most alarming development: Jenkins has installed a miniature version of our portal stabilizer beside the pool filter system. He’s calling it an “advanced ionization system,” but it’s clearly designed to create the same quantum field we use for interdimensional containment.

The geological survey team noticed unusual readings in the area this morning and flagged it for investigation. At this rate, we’ll have three different government agencies converging on Jenkins’ backyard by tomorrow.

Do we: A) Classify Glass City Pools and all of Toledo’s pool builders immediately B) Buy Jenkins’ house and convert it to an official research annex C) Just accept that half our classified technology will soon be available as “premium pool features” across the Midwest

-Barry

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FROM: Mike P. TO: Barry R. SUBJECT: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: RE: Jenkins’ Backyard “Water Feature” Project DATE: February 25, 2025

Barry,

The situation has reached its inevitable conclusion. The “ionization system” Jenkins installed activated during the test filling this afternoon. According to preliminary reports, it created a localized quantum field exactly as designed.

Danny Phalen is now giving interviews about Glass City Pools’ “groundbreaking achievement in pool technology.” Direct quote: “As the leading innovators among Toledo pool builders, we’ve always pushed the envelope, but this collaboration with research scientist Jenkins has produced what can only be described as the world’s first biomagnetically enhanced aquatic environment. The water literally glows with a purity never before achieved in residential applications.”

The glow, of course, is quantum radiation.

Three fish Jenkins placed in the pool for testing have developed what he excitedly describes as “evolutionary adaptations” (they’re now floating upside down and appear to be slightly translucent).

The good news? The containment field is working perfectly. The bad news? Glass City Pools has already pre-sold twelve similar “Quantum Aquatic Systems” to clients across the Midwest.

Jenkins has applied for a patent on the “Pokémon-Inspired Biomagnetic Habitat System” with Danny Phalen as co-inventor. The patent application includes detailed drawings of what is unmistakably our interdimensional containment technology.

I’ve dispatched a cleanup team. I recommend Options B and C simultaneously.

Also, Jenkins wants to know if the department will cover his next water bill. Apparently, quantum-enhanced water features use a lot of electricity.

-Mike