[REDACTED] Officials’ Private Emails Reveal Alien Psy-Ops Are Just Jenkins in a Pikachu Onesie

FROM: Mike P.
TO: Barry R.
SUBJECT: Re: That Drone Story 😂
DATE: February 18, 2025

Barry,

Did you see how many TikTok views that farmer’s “mysterious craft” got? I can’t believe they fell for the LED strip on a weather balloon. Again. Sometimes I think we’re making this too easy.

Still laughing about Jenkins piloting it in his Pikachu onesie. Professional attire for a gov operative, am I right?

-Mike

FROM: Barry R.
TO: Mike P.
SUBJECT: Re: Re: That Drone Story 😂
DATE: February 18, 2025

Mike,

The Pikachu onesie was a nice touch. But the real chef’s kiss? That “leaked” photo of the “classified document” written in Comic Sans. Watching those Reddit “experts” analyze the font choice as “proof of authenticity because no one would deliberately use Comic Sans” had me crying.

Remember when we had to actually try with these ops? Now we just need Jenkins, a Party City budget, and some basic Photoshop skills.

Though I do feel bad about the History Channel. They’ve already filmed three episodes about this “sighting.” Should we tell them?

-Barry

FROM: Mike P.
TO: Barry R.
SUBJECT: Re: Re: Re: That Drone Story 😂
DATE: February 18, 2025

Barry,

Absolutely not. Let them film. Jenkins is already practicing his “anonymous government insider” voice for the interview. He’s added a fake cough and everything.

BTW, did you approve the expense report for the “mysterious crop circle” materials? I know it’s just pool noodles and string lights, but Jenkins insists it’s “artist-grade” equipment.

Also, that TikTok conspiracy theorist who thinks it’s all a government psy-op? The irony is killing me. Should we give him a follow from the CIA’s official account? 😈

-Mike